Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
I can start to feel myself slipping back into the "pre-adoption depression" (if this is not a disorder in the DSM-IV, it should be). For a while I was pleasantly distracted, but of course, Kidus is never really out of my mind. Now I am back to full fledged thinking about him 150% of the time, and being sad... maybe even a little sorry for myself. In my mind, we should have been back home with him by July 4th. Each little significant date makes it harder: our anniversary, first day of summer, our church's Vacation Bible School, Independence Day... I am not sure how many more of these dates I can handle without pulling my hair out. I am honestly trying to stay busy, but I really don't even want to leave the house.
Ben and Joanna sent us a wonderful video of Kidus trying to crawl. It was so awesome! When I am not watching it, I am replaying it over and over in my mind. Our caseworker also sent us two more picture of Kidus, taken towards the end of June. They woke him up for the photos, so it was our first time seeing him with a grumpy face. Adorable!
Anyway, he does look happy at the orphanage (and very well taken care). He is so chubby that James and I decided that he must be stealing the other children's food :-)
Alright, I try not to post too many of these "poor me" posts, but I think that I needed to get it out. There really aren't enough blogs out there with people whining about the wait in adoption. That leads me to two conclusions: 1. People keep it to themselves for fear of sounding like whiners --or-- 2. I am a bigger whiner than anybody else in the English speaking part of the world. Either way, I am willing to put myself out there and say: I AM SICK OF WAITING!!!
Thanks for listening. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
7 comments:
Hi Deanna
The wait was the hardest part for us too! We spent so much time waiting and also felt at times like we didn't know what kind of update we were waiting for. BUT....It is worth the wait! When Kidus is with you, you will forget quickly about how difficult this part has been.
We wait with you.
Joanna and Benjamin
No, you're not the biggest whiner in the world, just the most honest. I commend you for using your blog for its intended purpose. I, on the other hand, can hide my feelings until I get sick...literally. I have gotten myself so tense, upset, worried and stressed that I am physically ill. I live in a fog 95% of the day, my back aches, my neck aches, my head aches, my face hurts (sinus), and I feel very weak. I am able to cry for no reason, and find almost no reason to smile some days. If it wasn't for the little ones we have now to keep me busy I seriously don't think I could handle this.
Ok, there, I just out-whined you.
At least you know you have supportive friends and family that will pick you up anythime you need it! And the wait IS worth it.
Thanks. Both of you. I know you both can relate.
Marissa: I am sorry you are sick. That makes everything even worse. Feel free to out-whine me anytime. (although, I still think I could give you a run for your money!) :-)
Deanna,
I don't think you're whining, in fact, I think you have every right ot be whining a lot, considering your circumstances. *I* am whining about not having our baby with us, and we don't even know who our little one is (*and* we have purposefully waited to start the adoption process so that we won't travel too soon so I really only have myself to "blame"...however, no time seems soon enough when rational thought goes out the window...)
Good luck with the last stretch - you'll do wonderful.
Deanna-
I have no idea how you have held yourself together this long. You have bonded with him thru pictures for a long time now and it must be so hard to wait for the court system.
We are praying for you! Keep whining...none of us mind! I am whining alot too and cannot imagine how I will be once I see the beautiful face of our soon-to-be daughter.
I check your blog daily and soon will be the update with your travel date :)
Jill
We all love you! Feel free to whine all you want. You can even call me up and whine to me!
We need to come up with some more distractions for you...maybe a new hobby to fill in the time! :-)
And...why doesn't Jane have hairy legs and armpits?
Thanks everyone... Never in my life have I felt so much encouragement to whine. :) You may not know what you are getting into, I may have to change my blog name to "Taking the Whiny Route to Parenthood".
April: That is an excellent point about Jane. Where did they find their razors? Or maybe they were both just naturally hairless people. Hmmm... Something to ponder :-)
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