"I have been on a calendar, but never on time." - Marilyn Monroe
I have been getting some flack from my mother for not posting enough, so I thought I would try and squeeze a post in. I have been really busy with, well, life.
This morning I tried to cut Seth's hair. Really I just wanted to take a little bit off. I was able to take off less than a little bit. I was way to scared of messing up those beautiful curls. This week, I need to get him in for a trim. His hair is so long it has the beginnings of a little mullet :) Don't get me wrong, I love long hair, he just has some frizzies on the ends that need to be cut away so you can see his adorable little curls. To give you an idea of how much I actually cut:
I guess I need to leave it to a professional. I am too much of a wimp.
Last Thursday, Seth and I were standing in the checkout lane at a grocery store, when an elderly woman got in line behind us. Now, if I have learned anything these last 5 months, I have learned that there are two types of people who ask odd questions about the fact that Seth and I do not fit the "standard" mother-son mold: elderly ladies and small children. For the most part, it doesn't bother me. So, when this woman started talking to me, I had a feeling that it was going to take that direction. I will name this lady Madge, for story-telling sake:
Madge: Does you mother work out at (such and such) gym on (such and such) road?
Me: No. My mother and I both live in (our small town).
Madge: Oh (Looooonnnnngggggg pause) Because there was a woman that I did aqua aerobics with whose daughter married a black man.
Me: (internally: oi, I am too tired for this) Hmmm... Well, my husband is white (even longer pause to make her squirm) Actually, my son is from Ethiopia.
Madge: Oh! So he's adopted!
The story went on and on from there. I know that these conversations upset a good number of transculteral families out there, but I think it is important to consider the source. This woman was 73 years old. Of course, my first instinct was to teach her a few things about race and culture and minding-her-own-beeswax, but really she was just a very lonely lady who was trying to start a conversation.
What really bothers me is when people stereotype Seth based on his color, even when the stereotype is positive. "Oh he will be good at this or that." Usually these comments come from people I know and love and they almost always catch me off guard. I am working on developing a set of comebacks that will not cause an argument, but will get my point across. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
With that, I need to get back to Biology (UGH!). I will leave you with a cute baby picture and proof that Seth hates a clean house:
5 comments:
I have much to learn...about handling those conversations that I know will be coming...
with grace.
Oh it will be so hard.
Smart mouths speak alike tonight. I won't offer any advice as I already know that mine is not going to be in the direction that you need. Instead, I am thankful that you are my friend & accept me for me. I love you & each member of your family. You just keeping loving Seth with a pure love & answer honestly.
I can top that! when we first started getting pictures of Seth, I was showing him off at work and one lady, probably in her early thirties, ask me if you were going to tell him that he was adopted. My comment was that we had all agreed to keep it a secret, she said it was probably a good idea.
Your mom's story is hilarious!
Now, I'm not in your position, but I think all you can do is laugh at the silly comments. With strangers it is not worth your time or energy to care or get upset about what they say. The whole "my husband is white" and leaving them hanging is worth a laugh at least in your own head and when you tell us about it!
Now family and friends are worth a little more time and energy, but you know they love you and Seth and don't mean to offend you or hurt your feelings. Maybe just repeating back to them what they said would be enough to make them realize how it came out and even add a bit of humor to the situation.
I just erased what I wrote and will email it to you instead...
i always get "you must play bball" cause i was tall...i come back with "you must play mini golf". :)
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