Taking the Scenic Route to Parenthood...: November 2007

In honor of Adoption Day, I am posting a paper I wrote a while back about why adoption is a wonderful choice. I have actually seen quite a few keyword searches that have lead to my blog that are obviously from people who are searching for answers... Hopefully this will answer some questions for them. Please excuse the sometime repetitive format... it was an English paper. By the way, I know it is long, and I really do not expect that many people to read it. I just thought it might give those searching people a few things to consider. :)

Why Adoption? - Deanna Norris

Truman Capote, John Hancock, Michael Bay, Charlotte Church, and Deborah Harry (“Famous Adoptees,” n.d.): What do all these famous people have in common? All of them were either orphans or were adopted as small children, and they all went on to do great things. There is much talk about celebrities doing the adopting these days, but little time is spent on those that were adopted. The reason could be that once a child is with a family, it becomes second nature, and the word “adopted” seems odd to include. An adopted son or daughter is a son or daughter: no clarification necessary. Adding to the family through adoption is becoming more prevalent because due to an increase in infertility rates, the strain of infertility treatments, and the cost of such treatments, more couples are considering adoption as a way to bring children into their family. It is a mistaken belief that the cost of adoption can be prohibitive because there are numerous ways to fund adoption, a considerable number of foster children who can be adopted for less than $500, and a substantial tax credit from the state and federal government for all adoptive families. It is a common misconception that it is difficult to adopt because of lack of available children, but there are large numbers of children who have been left without family or parents in Michigan, in the US, and abroad. With the growing infertility rates, the many outlets available for financial help and large number of children who need homes, adoption is a beneficial solution for all parties involved.

Although adoption has been around since the beginning of time, it has definitely been given more attention in the past few years. Due to an increase in infertility rates, the strain of infertility treatments, and the cost of such treatments, more couples are considering adoption as a way to bring children into their family.

The increased levels of infertility, partially due to increased obesity and the increased average age of the couples when they start trying to conceive, has led many couples to consider adoption as a way to bring children into their family. There is a very good chance that every American knows someone who is experiencing infertility. The last 10 years have seen a dramatic increase in the number of infertile couples. This translates to an increase in adoption as well. Which means that what starts out as a bad experience, becomes a good one. In 1995, there were around 5.8 million Americans dealing with infertility and in 2002 that number was somewhere around 7.3 million Americans (Feldstein, 2006). What could cause such a dramatic jump in the number of infertile couples? Some researchers believe that as American’s waistlines increase, their chances of conceiving naturally decrease. This is especially true with men: overweight men have a twofold chance of being infertile (Harper, 2006). Another reason doctors believe that the number of infertile couples will continue to grow is that more couples are waiting longer to start their families (Feldstein, 2006). After struggling with infertility, many couples turn to adoption. It is estimated that only around 20% of the couples who adopt already have biological children at home (Cudmore, 2005). This means that 80% of the adoptive couples may have suffered some form of infertility (Cudmore, 2005). What do all these numbers translate to for the millions of children out there waiting for homes? Forever families: a happy conclusion to the epidemic of infertility that is sweeping the United States. This also means that these couples have a soft place to land after the draining process known as infertility treatments. Therefore, maybe there is a positive aspect to obesity and age: homes for many children who would not otherwise have one.

Sometimes the positives of infertility require hindsight because infertility treatments are time consuming and emotionally draining, so some couples choose adoption instead. According to a recent article by Leslie Stahl (2006), “It may be hard for those who take their fertility for granted to realize how stressful infertility can be” (p. 1H). The medical process alone is draining. Visiting the doctor monthly, blood tests, drug treatments, temperature readings, charts, injections, medical procedures, and the waiting for a positive pregnancy test can quickly consume the life of a couple trying to conceive (Stahl, 2006). So much effort is being put into the process of conceiving, many of the emotions involved are being swept under the rug. This leads to an emotional exhaustion that some experts compare to that of a person with a terminal disease (Stahl, 2006). Sometimes the pressure that the couple is under can cause strains in their marriage and other relationships. Often, the grief is not discussed during the infertile stage because the couple is embarrassed at their failure to conceive. In today’s society, there seems to be an unwritten rule that it is one’s right to bear children who are biologically connected (“When Infertility,” 2006). Not only that, but the “keeping up with the Joneses” seems to stretch into the area of fertility as well (“When Infertility,” 2006). All these emotions can lead the couple to look elsewhere to fulfill their desire to have a child: adoption. For the infertile couple, adoption can be a relief and is always a joyous occasion. At this point in the process of infertility treatment, both the child and the couple may come to the relationship with something to share: grief. Adoption is a happy occasion, but there is a certain amount of loss experienced by all parties (Cudmore, 2005). The infertile couple may grieve their inability to conceive a child and the child may grieve the loss of the biological parents or previous caretakers. This may create a stronger bond in the family, with each understanding a little bit of what the other is feeling. The process of infertility leads many couples to not only adopt, but allows them a better understanding of their child, and that child’s loss, once he or she arrives.

With the loss of infertility comes the price tag of the treatment, infertility treatments are expensive and are rarely covered by health insurance, leading some couples to consider adoption. Many couples continue the process of infertility treatments under the mistaken impression that the treatments are cheaper than adoption. With more than 75% of the employers not covering infertility treatment, the couple usually ends up footing the bills themselves (Elswick, 2005). Most of the time, the couple may find themselves taking out a second mortgage, maxing out the credit cards, and cleaning out the savings account without any promise of return on their investment (Feldstein, 2006). This, of course, adds extra strain on the couple. Even the most frugal couple can be convinced to shell out their last dime on the small chance that their dreams of having a child will be fulfilled. This is yet another area where adoption can be a relief for the infertile couple. In most cases, the cost of adoption is far less than the cost of infertility treatments. One try at in-vitro-fertilization [IVF] can cost upwards of $12,000, with no guarantee of success (“When Infertility,” 2006). In fact, it usually takes at least two or three procedures before a pregnancy even occurs (“When Infertility,” 2006). The cost of adoption can vary, but ranges anywhere from $500 to $30,000, dependent on many variables. The average couple would certainly not be saving any money by continuing the infertility treatments.

Although both infertility treatments and adoption can be expensive, it is not always the case. Due to an increase in infertility rates, the strain of infertility treatments, and the cost of such treatments, more couples are considering adoption as a way to bring children into their family. With the infertility treatment being both emotionally draining and financially expensive, adoption is a logical and loving choice. It is a mistaken belief that the cost of adoption can be prohibitive because there are numerous ways to fund adoption, a large number of foster children who can be adopted for less than $500, and a substantial tax credit from the state and federal government for all adoptive families.

The large numbers of foster children who can be adopted for less than $500 prove that the cost of adoption need not be prohibitive. In the United States alone, there are more than 100,000 children waiting to be adopted right now (Spake, 1998). Many couples are looking to adopt, but only want to adopt white, healthy infants. For this reason, there is a common misconception that there are no children available for adoption, so the wait is extremely long: this is untrue. This translates to long waits for white children, with plenty of minority children still waiting for the perfect home (Barth, 1997). This is a sad fact about American culture, but an accurate one, nonetheless. Most of these children are older, of Hispanic or African-American heritage, and will never find their “forever home”. Statistics show that only about 16% of these children will ever find a permanent home outside the foster care system (Spake, 1998). Sometimes, just being over a certain age in the foster care system can classify these children as special-needs. Once you take into account the subsidies and credits available for the family who wants to adopt from the foster-care system, the out of pocket expense can be as low as $500. If a family adopts a special-needs child from the foster care system, the State of Michigan is prepared to help that family financially. The reason, according to “Foster Care and Adoption” (2002), is “…because of the expense of raising a special-needs child (60 percent of families who adopt a special-needs child have an annual income under $40,000)” (p.127). The subsidy amount starts at $14.00 a day and can go up from there, depending on the needs of the adopted child (“Foster Care,” 2002). Cost is a non-issue when thinking about adopting a child; there are far too many programs available to help the prospective adoptive family out, financially.

If the family doesn’t qualify for subsidies or grants the federal government and the state of Michigan (and many other states) offer substantial tax credits to help cover adoption expenses and confirm that the cost of adoption is not prohibitive. The initial investment of an adoption is usually the only hurtle to jump, financially speaking. Once the adoption is completed, the federal government allows a tax credit that can recoup all expenses relating to the adoption up to $10,960 (“Tax Topics,” n.d.). There are some criteria that need to be met for this credit, but for the most part, the average citizen adopting a child from anywhere will qualify for the credit. The second way that the government helps make adoption affordable is through the state tax credits. The State of Michigan is one of many states that offer a tax credit for adoption that reaches above and beyond the federal credit. If the out of pocket expense for the adoption reaches over the federal amount allowed, the State of Michigan will add in an extra $1,200 tax credit (“Qualified Adoption Expenses,” 2006). Both of these tax benefits are credits, not deductions, so adoptive families receive the entire amount back when they file their taxes. Therefore, thanks to the government has made it economical to adopt a child, just one of the many benefits of adoption.

If the family cannot afford to wait for the tax credits and need help with the initial funds there are many grants and low-interest loans available for families that want to adopt, so the question of the cost need not prevent families from adopting. Employers have even gotten into the game of adoption by offering adoption reimbursements for their employees as part of a benefit plan: in 2003, there were about 40 out of every 1,000 employers offering some sort of adoption assistance (Kranz, 2004). With the increase in adoption, that number is sure to go up. Many organizations are also finding a way to help families and children by offering grants for adoption expenses. There are literally hundreds of groups out there whose sole purpose is to help families with the financial aspect of adoption. Some organizations are specialized, some more general, but all them have one thing in common: they are interested in giving the prospective adopted parents money to help cover the cost of bringing a child into a loving, stable, home. Shaohanna’s Hope is just one example of this type of organization: Started by Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapmen, Shaohanna’s Hope is (“About Us”, n.d.) “…dedicated to helping prospective adoptive parents overcome the financial barriers associated with adoption” (p.1) If a family is unable to get a grant, there are always low cost loans designed to bridge the gap between the time the adoption begins and the tax credit comes. Many well-known lenders’ and non-profit organizations offer low-interest adoption loans. If all else fails and the family is unable to get extra benefits, grants, or loans, many adoptive parents start a “creative fundraising” campaign. Some prospective adoptive parents do odd jobs, hold garage sales, sell items at craft shows, or even donate plasma to raise funds to bring their child home (“Affording Adoption,” 2007). With enough motivation, adoption is affordable, and for most families, the love of their child is all the motivation they need.

Thanks to so many benefits that have come about as a way to make adoption an affordable solution, adoption is now available to even those families with meager incomes. It is a mistaken belief that the cost of adoption can be prohibitive because there are numerous ways to fund adoption, a large number of foster children who can be adopted for less than $500, and a substantial tax credit from the state and federal government for all adoptive families. Once a couple realizes that they can afford to adopt, the next question is whether there will be a long wait for a child or if there are even any children available for adoption. It is a common misconception that it is difficult to adopt because of lack of available children, but there are large numbers of children who have been left without family or parents in Michigan, in the US, and abroad.

In Michigan alone there are approximately 4500 children awaiting and eligible for adoption, thus dispelling the mistaken belief that adoption is difficult. All 4500 of these children are waiting in the Michigan foster care system. Most people think of foster care as a temporary place for children to stay, but the truth is that many of these children spend their entire lives in foster care with an average of four different caseworkers (“Foster Care,” 2002). The caseworker is often the only stable person in these children’s lives and the turnover rate is high. What does this mean? This means that there are not only children out there that need homes, there are children out there that need steady, loving, families. The children in these statistics are not half-way around the world; they are right their in our own backyards. A foster family provides some stability, right? Not always. Most children in the foster care system are moved frequently from one foster home to the next (Lynch, 1997). There is some good news in all of this: in the last few years, thanks to positive legislature, the State of Michigan has had an increase in foster care adoptions (“Foster Care,” 2002). The state has made foster care adoption easier, and the result is that more of those 4500 foster children who are waiting for families are finding them.

Of course, Michigan is not the only state where there are orphans, in the United States alone, there are approximately 500,000 children in foster care with about 25% of those children awaiting adoption, and this again shows that adoption is not as hard as some might think. There is a significant difference in the rate that white children are adopted versus the rate that minority or biracial children are adopted. According to Richard Barth (1997), “The probability of being adopted was 10.8 higher for a Caucasian child than for an African American, Latino, or other child freed for adoption…” (p. 2). If a family is willing to open up their home to any child, regardless of race, there are plenty of children in need of homes. The federal government has recognized this problem and has instated laws that make it easier for families from all over the United States to adopt across racial and state lines. Although the ability to adopt across state lines was given with the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children [ICPC], recent attention has renewed the effort through websites such as http://www.adoptuskids.org (Hansen & Hansen, 2006). Adopt US Kids has a photo listing of many of the foster care children available for adoption across the entire United States. Initiatives like the ICPC and the Adopt US Kids website make it even easier to adopt a foster child who is waiting, even if he or she is waiting on the other side of the country.

If a family wants to expand their borders through adoption there are innumerable numbers of adoptable children living in foster homes and in orphanages worldwide; in Africa alone there are 12 million AIDS orphans, so there are many opportunities for American to adopt internationally. International adoption has received quite a bit more attention in recent years due to celebrity adoptions from Cambodia, Ethiopia, and Malawi, just to name a few. Although at least one of the adoptions raised some much needed concerns about international adoption, the others were able to bring much needed attention to the plight of orphans in the non-Western world. Madonna adopted from Malawi, where there are many orphans who need homes, but Malawi is not normally a country that adopts their orphans to non-residents: So much controversy was raised (Schneider, 2006). But that controversy sparked conversation and brought up a good question: what countries can be adopted from and how many orphans are truly out there? According to a recent article by Jackie Burrell” (“Yearning for Family Transcends Borders,” 2006), “Fifteen years ago, about 7,000 U.S. families adopted children from other countries annually. Today, it is more than 22,000, a three-fold increase…” (p. 1). The number of orphans varies by country, as do the adoptions. Not all countries allow foreign adoption, but some of the top countries that do are: China, Russia, Guatemala, South Korea, and Kazakhstan (“Top 20,” 2003). Even though there are few African countries that allow foreign adoption, Africa has the largest orphan population in the world, with around 12 million of those orphans becoming that way due to the AIDS epidemic (Roby & Shaw, 2006). Most of the Africans being adopted are coming from Ethiopia, with a few coming from South Africa, Kenya, and Liberia (Roby & Shaw, 2006). There are undoubtedly millions of children out there who need homes, both here and abroad, for the couple that wants to expand their family and their borders.

Despite the many myths that surround adoption, there are plenty of children in need of homes all over the world. It is a common misconception that it is difficult to adopt because of lack of available children, but there are substantial numbers of children who have been left without family or parents in Michigan, in the US, and abroad. Of course, there are those that give adoption a bad name through accusation of the trafficking of orphans.

There are critics that claim adoption is nothing more than purchasing a child, but the evidence clearly contradicts this argument. There are always bad apples that spoil the bunch, but most adoptive parents are doing their best to stay within the law when adopting their child. Many families even go out of their way to find information about their child’s birth families, something that would be unheard of if that child had been adopted illegally. In the last decade, the importance of birth family relationships has stretched from domestic adoption to international adoption, with many families hiring “searchers” to find long lost relation to their child (Tyre, 2005). Clearly, this is the act of a parent who loves their child, not a consumer who is protecting their purchase. Money does need to be discussed when discussing adoption only because it is a fact of life, just like giving birth to a child costs money. Sometimes critics are caught up in the fact that there are large amounts of money involved and forget what the parents are really paying for: to find a child, not buy a child. According to “The Economics of Adoption” (Hansen & Hansen, 2006), “Potential adoptive families pay to be matched with the children who they are well-suited to parent, either by the best judgment of the family or by the best judgment of a social worker” (p. 3). Adoption is a noble service of connecting families, provided by professionals, regardless of what its many critics may say.

Finally, despite many misconceptions about adoption, there are so many reasons that adoption is an excellent solution for the family that wants to start, grow, or feels that they have the love and resources to share with a child. Due to an increase in infertility rates, the strain of infertility treatments, and the cost of such treatments, more couples are considering adoption as a way to bring children into their family. It is a mistaken belief that the cost of adoption can be prohibitive because there are numerous ways to fund adoption, a large number of foster children who can be adopted for less than $500, and a substantial tax credit from the state and federal government for all adoptive families. It is a common misconception that it is difficult to adopt because of lack of available children, but there are large numbers of children who have been left without family or parents in Michigan, in the US, and abroad. With the growing infertility rates, the many outlets available for financial help and large numbers of children who need homes, adoption is a beneficial solution for all parties involved.

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